"OK, Hot Dogs are Retarded."

Apparently you’ll be hard pressed to find American style hot dogs here. At first hearing of this I was disheartened, downtrodden even, shuffling my feet, mumbling and bumbling along until....one day a discovery was made, a particular restaurant stand stood like a beacon of light, a lighthouse a-top a steep hill shining its guiding beam upon my hot dog craving----It was "The Brat Pack," downtown that pulled me ashore. They are not hotdogs they are better. Now a regular, I usually get the "cheese kransky,"—it’s a brat with some sort of white cheese melted inside and this kiwi nectar they call “rocket fuel, ” I think its a hallucinogen …well it is fantastic. Extra onions and mustard, yes... I wouldn’t care if I ever had a hot dog again. Why do they exist when you could have one of these? I’m vexed. Terribly vexed.